Posts by demijoie

The CDC recently recommended that all Americans wear face masks while out in public. I’m not much of a DIY person, so I went looking for already pre-made face masks. I decided to put together this list on where to buy reusable non-medical grade face masks to make it easier for you. I hope that everyone is staying safe and practicing social distancing so that we can all get through this together.

Reusable non-medical grade face masks

Make sure to check the estimated arrival before purchasing it! Masks are selling out everywhere, and some companies are still doing pre-sales as well.

If you want to DIY your face mask, the CDC has come out with some guidelines and also a tutorial. Also, remember that the face masks should not give you a false sense of security. You should still wash your hands, stay 6 feet apart, and limit your time outside. 

SAVE FOR FUTURE REFERENCE

“You’re missing out.” “Give that man a baby.” “You’re not getting any younger.” “Who will look after you when you get old.” “You would be an amazing mom.” “Why haven’t you had children yet? You’ve been married for a while now”. “You’ll regret it.” “What kind of woman doesn’t want to have children.” “There are women out there that can’t have children, and you’re choosing not to.”

Since getting married, I have been subjected to every last one of the questions/ statements  above. Whether it’s from people that are incredibly close to me or people waiting in line with me at target, the topic of children seems always to come up. The conversation usually starts with “Do you have children?” then leads to “What are you waiting for?” and ultimately, one of the statements above follows after. Most people would chuck this up to small talk, but I look at it as being very intrusive and insensitive. 

I’ve been married now for over two years, and it’s still shocking to me how what I do with my reproductive organs are so important to people. Even though hearing all these things can be super exhausting and shocking at times, the one that gets to me the most is…

“You’re selfish.”

After hearing this so many times, I still can’t wrap my mind around how waiting to have children or having children is considered selfish. It seems like one of the most selfless things that a person could decide to do. Deciding to wait to have children or not having children at all takes a lot of strength, and knowing who you are as a person. It takes knowing that your lifestyle is not conducive for children. It takes understanding that you may not be a good parent. It takes self-awareness to know that you don’t like children, and you’re okay with being the rich aunt that comes around only on Christmas. You understand that you would rather travel the world and not wanting to settle down in one area. Understanding all these things and deciding that a child isn’t for you seems to be the polar opposite of selfishness. How could it be considered selfish to take potential children’s’ lives into account?

I decided to name this blog post, Having Children Is Selfish, because most people would be shocked if someone said that to them. But would you be just as shocked if someone said: “Not Having Children Is Selfish”? To gain a better understanding, I asked so many people why they decided to have children. 99.99% of the responses had nothing to do with the child. 

I need someone to take care of me when I get old.

I want someone to love me, unconditionally. 

The bible says to be fruitful and multiple.

That’s the next step after marriage, right?

It will make me become more grounded and bring stability to my life.

I was lonely.

I thought it would fix my marriage.

All of these reasons can come off very selfish. So why is it that not having children is considered the selfish act?

The entire point of making this post is to say that it’s okay not to want to have children. It’s okay to have children. It’s also okay to be undecided or indifferent about children. But it’s not okay to push your own opinion and views on others. It’s not okay to question people about their decision. Keep your opinion to yourself unless asked. Understand that you don’t know the real reason why someone is childless. Think about the above statements the same way you think about the mom with six kids giving you unsolicited parenting advice.

Also understand that marriage doesn’t equal automatic fertilization. People can love being married and also decide not to have children. Your views are not the views of everyone around you. My body my choice, right? That statement applies to everything evolving our bodies. Not just abortions and sexual assaults. Everything!

Since moving to Dallas at the end of 2019, I’ve been trying to explore Dallas and get to know the city. And one of the first areas we explored was Deep Ellum. I immediately fell in love with the area due to them having so many amazing restaurants and cute shops. While exploring, we stumbled upon Paddywax Candle Bar while getting coffee at Merit Coffee Co next door. We walked in, and one of the employees explained the entire process on how to make a candle at Paddywax Candle Bar. We decided to come back for a date night the following week. This post is to give you a synopsis about my experience and whether or not I would recommend it. 

Also, check out: 

Fun and Romantic Date Ideas In Dallas 

Make A Candle at Paddywax Candle Bar

What is the Paddywax Candle Bar?

Paddywax is a candle bar that allows you to pick out a fragrance and a candle vessels, and they walk you through the steps on creating your candle for $40 per person. 

The Booking Process

On the Paddywax website, you can reserve your seat at any of their 11 locations. We went to the Dallas location in Deep Ellum. It started as a pop-up, but they officially confirmed that it would become a permanent location. Once they become permanent, they will move to another location in Deep Ellum. The Dallas location is open Tuesday- Sunday. 

Before Making The Candles

On the day of our reservation, we arrived 15 minutes early because they do start on time. They do allow you to BYOB, so arriving before your reservation time will enable you to set all that up. They sat us next to another couple, and it allowed for an even better experience. The couple we met had also just moved to Dallas, so it was a perfect opportunity to meet new people. 

Once our reservation time arrived, our lovely instructor told us how everything would work and took us through the different fragrances and vessels they offered. I’m almost sure that they had a vessel for everyone’s taste and to match your home decor. She explained which vessels took wood, single, and triple wicks. Also, each of their vessels can be re-purposed after your candle burns out. You can also come in for a re-pour at 30% off if you want a new candle in the same vessel. 

We had 10 mins to pick out the fragrance and the vessel we wanted. They had four categories of fragrances: spice, woody, sweet, and fresh. Each category has multiple different fragrances you can pick. I’m more of a fresh scent person, so I picked Verbena and Eucalyptus. My husband wanted to make something woody, so he chose Driftwood and Indigo. 

Making The Candles

Once we picked the fragrances, she instructed us on how to measure out the fragrances and wax depending on which vessel we chose. One thing I enjoyed was the focus on safety. I never made candles at home due to my fear of being burned or something going wrong. So I’m glad that they made sure everything was safe. 

After everything was combined and poured into our vessels, she gave us tips on proper candle care. And we had 20% off on all the items in the shop. It does take up to three hours for the candle to solidify, so we came back the following day to pick ours up. I believe that they can hold it for up to 30 days, or they can ship it to you for $8. If you don’t pick up your candle after the 30 days, they do donate them to local charities. 

Would I recommend it?

Absolutely! I loved our instructor, and she made it so much more enjoyable. They were extremely patient with everyone and allowed you to take photos during different parts of the process. Most people would think that $40 is a lot for one candle. However, it’s more than just buying a candle. Its the experience as a whole. I love candles, so having one that I made myself means way more to me than purchasing one at bath and body works. And to be able to do it in a safer environment made it even better. Us Being able to make our candles made for a fantastic date night and a good break from the traditional dinner and a movie. I will be back to refill my vessel as soon as it runs out!